Soap is not a condiment
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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