Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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