do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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