Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
