would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
