btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize