just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
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