very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
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