Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
