sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
