you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Randomize