you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
