When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
