I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize