I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize
