so explain again why im purple
no
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
