I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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