Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Randomize
