we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
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