I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize
