I'm pants shitting drunk right now
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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