she looked like the bat from fern gully.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
