does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
