Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
you had me at cake vodka
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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