Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
