Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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