Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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