I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Randomize
