At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Randomize
