I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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