she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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