ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Randomize
