can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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