WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Why can't burritos get me drunk
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
