i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
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