i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
