Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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