Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
