at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
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