we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
