so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
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