no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
