I feel like I'm in dance class right now
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
