Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
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