two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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