she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
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