It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize
