So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
