For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
