Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Randomize
