I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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