shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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