Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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