White coat. Heels.
im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize