I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Randomize
