I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
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