It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Randomize
