He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Randomize
