I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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