Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
