I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
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