So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
