id be glad to
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
These tits shall not be calmed
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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